We are nearing the end of the second trimester; babes and I. And we are growing! Yes both of us. This wee one is still has about three months left and already little feet are pushing up into my ribs while little hands tap the lower part of my uterus. Aneliese is satisfied with my big belly now as we try to both lay on the couch for nap time songs and stories. I realized the other day that I must caution the girls to be gentle with the baby in my tummy regularly when Cecily looked down at her own little tummy that was sticking out after a meal, rubbed it and said, “baby in my tummy, it hurts.”
We have long chosen a girl’s name for this little one but are no further ahead with a name for a boy. We have tried a couple out but they never wear for long. The two that we really considered have been decided against because, one, we don’t like the meaning of and the other is very common and popular. It does have special meaning to us though so we have set it aside to come back to. Aneliese says we are having a boy. I openly acknowledge that my gender sensing intuition is nil. And so we anticipate the day that we finally get to know and hope that we have a name chosen by then. We’ll take suggestions:).
If my other babies movements are any indicator; this child is never going to sleep at night! Aneliese only ever moved at about 3 am and that was when she woke to eat right from the beginning. Cecily moved more and awoke to eat more once on the outside. And this little one is dance partying it up all night long. I am scared.
On the pregnancy front; I will spare most of the details, but I think I mentioned a hernia in a previous post. Make that two hernias. One being very painful and causing equally painful varicosities on one leg. Which has led to the warning that I should not lift, and need to keep the swelling/inflamation down (translated, rest). It’s hard for me, partially a pride thing, partially an I have two small girls and a home thing. I want to be the person who just keeps going and says that I have no choice, but then my body tells me that this isn’t an option, not for me or for the baby. And so I am learning to measure the outcomes of each thing that I do in a day very carefully. So we stick to home a great deal, I tell the girls that I can’t hold them but that I can cuddle on the couch, I remind myself to move slower, the basic house work is done and not much extra, and I do things like fold the laundry with my feet up on the couch. Then too, I take lots of vitamin C as well as topical vitamin E which helps greatly. And Dan helps as much as he can. And we. are. going. to. make. it. We are. Keeping my mind in the right perspective is the most challenging. I am struggling to not get depressed and truthfully, whiny. Yes it is only a couple of months left but it can seem endless. Choosing to remember that my mind and hands can still be alert and active is hard. Basically everyday, I fight against slipping into mindless, pointless, and energy sucking internet surfing in the resting moments. Depressing? Not the happy, I am in love with this amazing child within and here are some artistic baby belly shots, sort of post that you might expect? Believe me, I am in love and filled with anticipation. I watch this child twist and “leap” inside me with awe and I often gaze at my growing self in the mirror with wonder. I am proud to be the bearer of this child. And even if it isn’t easy, in a just a few months we will hold our precious child in our arms and we will be so in love and thankful. Yet I would be phoney if I didn’t acknowledge that for me this season is very hard, many days incredibly hard. And sometimes the hardest things are also the very best things.
After I wrote but hadn’t shared this post, Dan actually took some fun pictures while we were playing on the swings so I will share a couple belly pictures after all. I feel a little like my clothing looks like I broke into my daughters’ closest or a costume box but they are happy.