This year we decided to continue through the Advent season to Epiphany which is on January 6. We did a few things like keeping the wise men out of our nativity until that day and had been kind of talking about what we would like to do. Mostly we wanted to have a party. But here is the thing. I have this tendency to want to do everything perfectly and artistically because in my mind this translates as meaningful. So I had planned some things that I wanted to do and how I wanted to decorate etc. We had only invited one family to join us so I felt like it would be pretty casual and simple. But then the day before, I had coffee with friends and procrastinated the afternoon away and I will admit, but evening I was grumpy, frustrated and feeling like nothing ever goes smoothly like I want. Great way to have a celebration I know. And I went to bed feeling this way. And I woke up realizing that I fallen into the trap again; that one of rushing around all agitated to get ready for that perfect moment. Ashamed, I sat on the couch for a few minutes and took stock. Thankful that the day wasn’t gone and that I had a chance to continue differently, I joined Aneliese for a morning tea party and ignored the list for a few minutes. We then started our King’s Cake together, I measured, she poured. I spread the flatbread, she sprinkled the poppy seeds. She held the crowns and chose who would have which one, I sewed them together. Dan came home and helped tackle the mountain of dishes, but there were still some when our guests arrived. I didn’t get the floor swept and I fought back the stress a time or two. I noticed how stained my napkins had become. I had planned on hanging lots of stars, instead we used a star candle in the middle of our table. The three wise men who came bearing gifts were incredibly sweet and my little girls joy at having them in our home was perfect.
The Gluten Free Kings Cake was…a little dry. The chicken…a little over done. The tzatziki…short a few cloves of garlic. The search around the house for the wise men, fun for the kids and fun to watch. The short reading Dan chose to explain Epiphany a good one. The voices singing We Three Kings, sweet. Our conversation, delightful.
I am a slow learner. Yet ever so slowly Epiphany awakes in my heart and I truly see what matters and I am slowly changed.